Reclaim your Evening Routine Today: How to Embrace the Frantic, Fraught and Terribly Short Part of Your Day

I leave work at 5, excited to see my kids. I drive to their schools and pick them up. Forty-five minutes after I left my office, we’re finally at home. I’m starving and thirsty, and I probably have to use the bathroom. The kids are emotional after a long day of school. I’m still thinking about that problem at work, so I’m distracted and maybe a little grumpy. We rush to get dinner on the table and clean up before it’s time to start the bedtime routine. By 8:30 pm, the kids are in bed and I collapse on the couch, wondering what happened to the past 3.5 hours. Sound familiar?

Today, I want to talk about the evening. For working parents, it’s that tiny sliver of time between work and bedtime when we try to fit in a thousand (at least) essential activities. My husband calls it “a barely controlled train wreck”, and it’s true more often than not. Sometimes it feels like we’re just barely keeping everything together on a wild ride toward bedtime.

I asked a handful of my working mom friends to list their top three working-parent challenges. The answers were surprisingly consistent – time management in general, and the evening routine in particular are tough. And this makes complete sense. Parents are tired from a day at the office and drained from the commute. Kids are worn out from a day of learning, playing and being a kid. Everyone is probably hungry! It’s hard to be at our best in the evening, but it’s a critical time in the day. Stuff needs to get done and, ideally, connections need to be made.

Why Does the Evening Matter?

Both parents work full-time in 46% of all two-parent families in the US, according to a study by Pew Research Center in 2015. Another 17% of two-parent households have one full-time working parent and one part-time working parent. That means that well over half of all two-parent families in the US have two parents working to some extent. Here’s the number that hit me in the gut: 40% of working moms always feel rushed, and another 50% sometimes feel rushed. That’s not a good way to go through life!

Weekday evening hours account for a significant portion of parents’ time with our kids. If parents and kids spend about 4 hours together daily during the week and maybe 10 hours together each weekend day, that’s 40 hours total. If the evening weekday time is 10 hours, that’s 25% of our time with the kids! That’s a significant chunk of the time we have with our kids, and we want the end of the day to be a positive experience for everyone.

Small Changes can Make a Huge Difference

A few tweaks in your routine can make a big difference in how you feel in the evening! This seems ridiculous, but always use the bathroom before you leave the office. If you’re spending some time picking up kids and driving home, you don’t want to have to stop to use the restroom and you don’t want to be rushing inside when you get home. Bringing water and a small, protein-rich snack on your evening commute will also help you keep your energy up. Don’t forget to bring some food for your kids, as well. Hydration and a few calories will help you fight off the hungries until dinner is ready.

When you get home, make sure to get comfortable. Change out of your work clothes, and let the kids change too. Turn on some peaceful music, light a candle, or put the fire on. These small acts will help you transition from work mode to home mode, and they’re really crucial to disconnecting your mind from the day’s stresses. For dinner, keep it simple. Slowcooker meals are awesome since they’re ready exactly when you are. On the flip side, preparing dinner with your kids is a great way to spend time together after the day, so consider simple recipes that your children can help you prepare. We have a favorite salmon recipe, and my daughters help me coat the salmon with olive oil and prepare the topping for the fish. It’s fun, and delicious.

Evening is an important connection point with your kids, too. It’s easy to get so busy with the logistics of getting home, eating, doing homework and getting to bed that you forget to slow down and really talk with your kids. Don’t miss this opportunity! Our 20 Simple Ways to Connect with Your Child is a great list of quick and easy ideas for communicating with your kids, even when you’re busy making dinner and helping them get ready for bed.