What is Parent Lightly?

If you have children, you know this truth: Kids are rewarding, and fun, and wonderful, but….they’re also a heck of a lot of work. When you’re a working parent, it can be hard – really hard – to know where to find the time to do it all.

Society tells us that work and family are enemies.

Time you spend at work is taken from your family – and vice versa. How can we ever expect to succeed in that framework?

The truth is, you absolutely can have a rewarding career and a joyful home life!

I have a full time job. At one point, my husband had a full-time job and was running his own business. For a few years, he traveled 80%. We have two kids. We’ve moved three times since our first was born. Life is busy (or, as Laura Vanderkam would say, life is full). It isn’t always easy. But there is room for joy. There is time for me, and there is space for us as a couple. How?

I’ve spent the last six years being a working mom.

During that time I’ve constantly worked to refine our lives. It’s because we are so busy and live such full lives that I’m always searching for ways to be better, more effective and more efficient.

I’ve identified three crucial elements to living a life of joy and fulfillment. You can beat the feeling of overwhelm. You can have a rewarding career. You can parent your children with meaning and purpose. You only have to be intentional about how you structure your life.

That’s where Parent Lightly comes in. My simple framework has three focus areas that help you set a foundation, find clarity and ultimately be a more engaged employee and parent.

The three pillars of joyful working parenthood are: creating order, never trusting your memory and knowing your priorities!

1. Create Order in Space & Time

One of the Parent Lightly pillars is to create order. This applies to your physical space at home and work. It also applies to your schedule!

Why do you need to create order?

  • Reduce stress: Clutter makes women anxious and who needs more anxiety? A tidy home will impart a feeling of calm.
  • Save time: No one has time to spend 30 minutes searching for missing car keys.
  • Eliminate decision fatigue: Systems, processes and routines help make daily tasks into habits – freeing your energy for the stuff where you truly add value!

How can I help you create order?

  • Decluttering & Minimizing your Space and Time: The less stuff you have in your home, office and schedule, the more calm you will feel!
  • Creating Processes & Routines: Routines help you keep your life running smoothly without a lot of effort. Save your brainpower for the places where you can really add value!
  • Reliable Childcare: For any working parent, finding a childcare provider you can trust is a must. This reliable routine will help your child feel more at ease.

If you feel anxious and overwhelmed, Create Order is the first pillar for you to focus on!

2. Never Trust your Memory

This is one of my working parent mantras and my second Parent Lightly pillar – Never Trust your Memory.

Sometimes I feel like I could solve world hunger on my drive to work and forget it by the time I make it to the office. In the rush of school drop-offs, appointments, to-dos and traffic you’re guaranteed to forget even the most insightful thought. Everyday tasks don’t stand a chance.

Why Do you Need to Stop Trusting your Memory?

  • Save Cycles: Don’t “touch” a task more than once. If you keep thinking about the same thing over and over without doing it, you’re exerting a lot of effort when you could have just done the thing.
  • Escape the Feeling of Letting People Down: The absolute worst feeling as a working parent is when you let someone down. You forget that today is your child’s field trip or you leave a colleague hanging on a project. This is the kind of thing that makes you feel like you’re failing at everythingbut it’s not your fault.
  • Be more Efficient: When you write things down and plan ahead, you’ll save yourself from doing things at the last minute. You’ll bring home the file you need for tomorrow’s offsite meeting. You’ll buy the birthday present on Amazon early enough for it to arrive.

How can I help you remember everything?

  • Find a good task management system: I like Trello, but there are many others out there! I’ll help you figure out what’s right for you.
  • All the calendars: I rely on my calendar like nothing else. I’ll help you create your work and home life calendars, integrate your partner’s calendar(s) and more!
  • Take notes: If I’m in a meeting, I need to take notes. You’ll learn how to take effective notes and organize them so you can actually find the notes when you need them!
  • Automation: I’ll help you automate the things you can, like paying bills, to help you keep up with chores with minimum time and energy. You won’t even have to remember these items!

If you always feeling like you’re letting people down, Never Trust Your Memory is the pillar you should focus on.

3. Know Your Priorities

The third Parent Lightly pillar is where the hard work – and the magic – happens. It’s knowing and living your priorities.

This is the place where you really have to do the work yourself. That’s why the first two pillars are so important. By creating order and developing systems to remember everything, you’ll create processes and habits that will free you to do the hard work of prioritizing.

Why Do You Need to Know your Priorities?

  • Make better choices: You’re making choices all day, every day. Getting clear on your priorities will help you make better choices more easily.
  • Feel more fulfilled: If you’re floating along without a purpose, it’s easy to feel lost. When you know your destination, you’ll feel much more confident about your life and its meaning.
  • No regrets: I don’t want to send my kids off to college wondering if I should have done things differently. I want to get the big stuff right, so I sweat that hard.

How can I help you know your priorities?

  • Set your personal priorities: Only you can go to the tough work of thinking through your own priorities as an individual. Sure you have a career and a family, but at the end of the day you also have to be true to yourself.
  • Talk with your family: Your family should have a vision too! This means you’ll all be pulling in the same direction, toward a common goal. This will bring you closer and help you all make good choices.
  • Choose wisely: Make choices about your time and resources with your priorities in mind.
  • Give grace: If you feel like you made the wrong choice, don’t beat yourself up. We’re always making choices. Choose something that aligns with your priorities next time. You’ll have another chance soon enough.

If you feel adrift and unfulfilled, start with Know your Priorities.

This is a Cycle

The three Parent Lightly pillars aren’t a process – they’re more like a cycle. In some seasons, you’ll find yourself focusing on creating order. In others, you’ll need to remember the details. You may need to step back and focus on priorities for a while.

The key is to address the area that’s causing you the most anxiety or stress, then move on to the next! You’ll constantly be making improvements throughout your working parent life, so settle on in.

Learn More

Want to know more about my personal working mom story, and the reason I started Parent Lightly? All the details are here!