How to accomplish your goals and avoid distractions
I’ve been getting big questions lately: “Why can’t I stick to my goals?” and “How do I focus on what’s important?”. We all have dreams and it can feel frustrating when you’re not making progress toward your goals. I know how easy it is to get distracted when you have kids, a job, and a busy life.
Pandemic parenting can feel like an endless hamster wheel of household chores, cranky kids at bedtime, and work work work. Right?
I want to encourage you to take some steps to break out of this cycle. Even if you have just a few minutes a day to devote to accomplishing your goals, that adds up. Remember, if you spend 5 minutes a day on your goals over the course of a year, that is THIRTY HOURS. This is no joke. You can make substantial progress on the things that matter to you in thirty hours.
Why can’t I achieve my goals?
Usually, people struggle to make progress on their goals for one of two reasons:
- They need to identify what is truly important to them and what their goals are
- They haven’t set themselves up for success and focus
Today let’s break down two situations you might find yourself in and what to do about each.
How to set compelling goals that you want to work on
In my experience, the key is to set goals that really matter to you. I believe that you should never start with SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant) goals. Instead, I always recommend starting with a dream. How do you want to feel this year? Maybe you want to feel peaceful, energized, loving, calm, fulfilled. These steps will help you find the goals that really work for you.
Create or revise your goals
If you didn’t set goals, do. If you set goals, go back and look at them. Do they still resonate? Do you need to change anything? Don’t be afraid to re-asses your goals. Last year, I changed jobs in April and so my goals really shifted to incorporate that huge change.
I personally don’t think there’s any magic to January. Set goals any time of year. Change them if needed. The point is to create a vision that matters to you. This will really help you know what to focus on. It also helps you stay focused when you have many competing priorities.
It can also be helpful to make flexible goals. If you’re a parent, you may need some space in your goal setting to account for the unexpected (sick kids, busy activity seasons, etc.).
Seek clarity: If you aren’t sure about your work priorities, ask.
This is one of the biggest mistakes people make. Ask your boss or co workers to help you prioritize at work.
Sometimes you don’t set your work goals. You may need guidance from your management or project team. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
If you want to advance in your career, you need to deliver value. The most efficient way to do that is work on the highest value tasks. Sometimes you’ll know what those are. If you don’t know, ask.
This will REALLY reduce your work stress as well.
Choose some daily non-negotiables
Some people just don’t resonate with big goals and that’s OK. For some it’s more about creating daily habits that matter to you. Perhaps that’s reading a book with your child at bedtime, getting 20 minutes of exercise, or reading a book. Whatever it is, remember that the way you spend your time each day is the way you spend your life. Having a set of non-negotiables will help you make the choice between random email/dishes/etc. And what matters to you.
Consider creating a personal or family vision
I want my house to be just clean enough to not annoy me. I don’t spend time on fashion or interior design or creative dinners. Not happening. I’m all about supporting my health, spending time with my family, reading a good book, and progressing in my career. That’s what matters to me and I know why.
Other people might really value having a beautiful home to connect with family and friends. Some people value travel and focus on that above all else. Maybe you’re less career focused and really want to enjoy life. Whatever it is – own it.
Creating a personal or family vision can help you decide what truly matters to you. This, in turn, makes it easy to decide where to focus your goals.
How to focus on what’s important to you
If you know what you want to achieve, the next step is to set yourself up for success! Once you have a goal, you can structure your time in ways that help you focus on what’s important.
Break down your goals into the smallest possible increments.
For example – if you want to write a book, make a small goal to write 10 minutes or 100 words a day. So easy! If you’re encountering resistance this needs to be so tiny that it’s ridiculous NOT to do it.
Set aside a time to make progress on your goals.
If you have 10 minutes, use it. Most people benefit from getting this done first thing but not everyone. Stick to your agreement. Remember, 5 minutes a day adds up to 30 hours a year. You can make substantial progress in tiny increments, as long as you are consistent.
Identify your rabbit holes
Are there certain things that really send you down a rabbit hole of minutea? Email is a very common one. Also household chores. For a week or so, keep track of these things that pull you off track.
Once you’ve identified these activities, time box them. Set a few times a day to check and respond to email and do household chores. Put a cap on the amount of time you will spend (less than 30 minutes). Set a timer and stick to it. Remember, some tasks expand to take up the space you give them. Limit the space you give.
H3: Time block the major parts of your day
It really helps me to think of the day in large time blocks. During work hours, work is my primary priority unless there is a family emergency. Outside of work hours, family is my top priority when the kids are awake and home. I fit in my personal goals around these blocks. For example, I usually run in the mornings before people are awake. I do my writing in small chunks during the day or on the weekends. This helps me know where to focus during each hour of the day and really reduces that feeling of “should I be doing something else?”.
Still can’t stick to your goals? Look at your mindset.
If you still aren’t making progress after implementing these steps to achieve your goals, I encourage you to look at your mindset. Are you holding yourself back from achieving big things? Are you afraid of a promotion at work because you’ll take on additional responsibilities? Are you afraid to pursue fitness goals because you’ll feel awkward or out of shape?
Think hard about areas where you’re not progressing to see if you have limiting beliefs. Alternatively, maybe this area just isn’t as important to you as you thought. If you are consistently not finding time to work on one of your goals, maybe that goal just doesn’t matter to you right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t pursue it later. You just have different priorities right now and that’s OK.
The key is to choose a handful of goals, or even just one goal, so you feel like you’re making forward progress instead of going around and around.
You CAN focus on what’s important to you
By first identifying your goals and second setting yourself up for success, you will be able to focus on what truly matters to you. Sure, that laundry has to get done. But if you follow these steps, you’ll be making visible progress on your dreams, not just spending time on the small things that can fill up a day.
