The Childcare Series: An Entrepreneur Mom Shares The Ins and Outs of In-Home Daycare

When thinking about childcare, I knew I needed to find something that would accept my son at a very early age. Otherwise, who would do payroll, scheduling, and all the other things that only I could do?

Do I sound like a control freak?

Well, I’ll admit I was (past tense) a bit of a control freak! Good news though- having a child mellowed me out a little. I now consider myself a control freak in recovery.

In all seriousness though, I really DID need to be able to get back to work fairly quickly. Some days it would only be an hour or two that I needed to complete my tasks. But I did need this time in order for my business to run smoothly.

Using Relatives As Childcare

You are going to think I am crazy, but I went back to work 11 days after I had my son. Now again, it was for VERY short periods of time (1-2 hours). The only way I was able to handle leaving my son was the fact that my mother agreed to help out in the beginning. There is NO ONE else I would have trusted at that point to care for my child in the same kind of nurturing, whole way I cared for him.

My mom was amazing! She lives about 4 hours from me and would drive up for 4-5 days, then leave for 4-5, and then come back. She did this for 3 months. If it were not for her I honestly don’t know what I would have done.  Probably pulled all my hair out and screamed a lot.

But that’s not to say there weren’t hard times too.

One week after my son was born, my mom, son, and I were headed to a doctors appointment. My mom was telling me to lighten up and basically not be such a control freak. I pulled the car over and had a “come to Jesus” moment. I was anything but calm as I explained to her, that just because something wasn’t important to her that it didn’t mean it wasn’t important to me. That while I super appreciated her and everything that she was sacrificing to help me, I still needed her to respect my feelings and decisions. That while my mom may not have always understood where I was coming from, I simply needed her support –  not be told I was a control freak!

Honestly, I am so thankful that this happened early on! While it was painful, it opened up communication between us and allowed for a more honest exchange. She was able to hear me, and I was able to let go of some of the control, just by simply stating my needs.

Advice for Using Family for Childcare

If you have a family member helping with childcare, try to establish an open line of communication before sobbing hysterically outside of the doctor’s office about NOT WANTING TO CHILL OUT! But if it comes to sobbing, that’s okay too. It is such an emotional time after you have a child and it is way better to express your needs than let them fester to your detriment.

Make sure that if you do have help from family members, that they are the type of family members you can be completely open and honest with, even if it is hard. If you have a tough relationship with your mother-in-law, she might not be the best choice to help!

Finding In-Home Daycare

After my three months was up with my mom, it was time to find a trusted daycare. My options were limited, as the childcare situation in my town was considered to be in crisis at the time I was looking. This made it hard to be picky. I searched high and low and finally found my solution.

A Lucky Encounter

While dancing at a wedding, with my son, I was approached by an older woman. She said to me, “My name is Mary. I have been doing childcare in the valley for 33 years and I think I want your son to be my next baby. Do you need childcare?”

Was she kidding me? I had been desperate to find someone, and every avenue I searched turned up blocked paths. As it turned out, she had known my husband for years, had watched a number of my friends’ children over the years, and was a trusted member of the community.

A Positive Experience – Until Licensing Issues

My son went to Mary for 6 months, until she was shut down by the state – a tragedy in my opinion. Never have you met someone so gifted with young children.

Mary, while extremely competent, was not much of a rule follower. She did things like leave shovels on her porch, toothpaste in her bathroom, and thumbtacks on her walls. All things my state’s regulators frown upon.

Worse yet, Mary couldn’t say no. She never met a baby she didn’t love, and in our childcare crisis climate, Mary took on too many kids. Her fully capable spirit wanted to help ALL the families in need. My state only allows in-home daycare providers to have two children under the age of two. Mary had three. When she was closed by the state, I had one day to figure out what my next childcare move would be.

Finding a New Situation

On a hike a week prior, my girlfriend had mentioned that her friend was starting an in-home daycare. The day after Mary was shut down, I was able to get my son into this new daycare. It was an amazing feat and I still feel so lucky and thankful that this was my experience. Many of the families displaced from Mary’s did not have such luck.

19 months since switching to our 2nd in-home daycare provider I have learned some things about in-home daycare. If you’re considering in-home daycare for your child, definitely keep these pros and cons in mind!

Pros of In-Home Daycare

A Caring Connection

• Your child has another adult they feel safe with that can be trusted.
• Providers spend long periods of time getting to know your child, therefore you can work together on child-rearing strategies and techniques.
• You get to know your provider in an intimate way, which increases comfort levels. You get to know their family, values, and beliefs.

Fun & Comforting for your Child

• Your child is able to be in a comfortable home setting.
• There are usually small numbers of children.
• Field trips to the park, local parade, or sporting events may occur. My son “ran” (rode in the stroller) his first 10k with his daycare provider.
• It is typically a smaller, calmer environment.
• Low turnover of children mean the kids get to know each other.
• Sickness doesn’t spread as quickly or frequently as at daycare centers.

Flexibility & Convenience

• Our first provider, Mary prepared and served meals, while our second has us bring snacks and lunch.
• Cost can be less than centers.
• Flexible pick up and drop off times.
• Open more than daycare centers which often close during the holidays. Occasionally my son will go to daycare on Saturday.
• Children can typically start at a younger age than childcare centers.
• Many in-home daycares don’t make you pay if your child does not attend.

Cons of In-Home Daycare

• If you have an au pair or nanny, they might also do housework while they are watching your child.
• If your provider gets sick there may be no backup.
• There is typically less emphasis on early childhood education.
• The TV may be on a lot.
• Little supervision to make sure providers are running things according to state guidelines.
• They could get shut down from the state with little warning.
• Domestic issues with your providers own family could be an issue. If your provider is fighting with their spouse, your child may be adversely affected.

22 Questions to Ask In-Home Childcare Providers

Still thinking about in-home care for your child? Here is a list of questions to ask your potential provider.

Childcare Philosophy

1. Will the TV be on?
2. How do you handle discipline?
3. Will you help with potty training?
4. Will you go outside with my child?
5. What are your religious beliefs? Will you be sharing your beliefs with my child?

Logistics

1. At what age do you accept children?
2. Do you provide food, or do we need to provide it?
3. How do you heat up milk and food? Do you use a microwave, warmer, or stove?
4. What do I need to bring daily?
5. Do you have certain things you want me to leave here?

Safety & Continuity

1. Are there guns in the home? If so, are they securely locked?
2. Does anyone in the home smoke cigarettes? Or marijuana?
3. Are you licensed through the state?
4. Will you be driving with my child?
5. How long have you been providing care?
6. How long do you intend to continue providing care? (This is a big one, you don’t want to start your child somewhere only to find out that they were planning on retiring three months later).

Policies

1. How strict are you with pick up and drop off times?
2. Would you ever be able to watch my child on a weekend?
3. Do I have to pay if my child doesn’t come?
4. Do you have a backup in case you get sick or have an emergency?
5. Can I stop by anytime? (Another big one, you want to make sure your provider isn’t hiding anything! I also used to stop by Mary’s to breastfeed my son on my lunch break, which was amazing to be able to do!)
6. How do you handle billing?

Making The Decision

Trust Your Gut

When it comes down to it, you will have to go with your gut instinct. Trust yourself to know what the best situation is for your child. I have a reserved child who does better in small settings. I also needed childcare starting at a young age. My schedule fluctuates quite drastically, so I didn’t want to pay for days my child was not attending. These factors and more contributed to my decision to go with in-home care.

Ask Yourself Questions

What are your most important factors when considering the type of childcare you need? Is an educational environment of top priority? Maybe you really need help around the house, and a nanny could serve dual purposes.

Make a list of your top three most important things when considering childcare options. This list will be an insightful exercise to help determine the best method of care for you and your family.

For me, in-home care was the only option. It has been such a blessing to watch my child be nurtured and supported fully by another adult. He loves his “Nena” and she loves him! You know what else, I love her too!

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