You Can’t Fake It: 7 Self-Care Strategies to Improve your Mood For Real When You’re a Busy Mom

You can do anything, but not everything – David Allen

 

When you’re a working mom, you’re pulled in about a million different directions. Your co-workers and clients need you during the day. At home, you feel so guilty about being away from your kids during the day that you pour yourself into quality time with them at night. After the kids go to bed, oh hey! Maybe your spouse would like to spend some time with you, too. These are all important relationships and deserve your time and effort.

But then you start getting grumpy…

You’re short with your kids.

You’re snippy with your spouse.

Your fuse is short, and you feel run down.

“What’s the deal?”, you say to yourself. “You have no reason to be unhappy. Life is a little busy, but you really don’t have much to complain about! Suck it up, buttercup, and stop acting like such a jerk.”

Oh, maybe your internal pep talk works for a day or two. But when you have nothing left to give, you can’t give it, and you’ll be right back in grumpy town sooner rather than later.

This feeling is a sign. A red warning flag. You need to stop and take some time for yourself. You cannot force yourself to be in a good mood. You need to fill your own tank so you have something to give to others. This is how to improve your mood when your fuse is short!

Get a Monthly Massage

If you can afford a monthly massage, schedule one now. After each massage, schedule the next one. This is my single favorite way to recharge myself. I am noticeably more patient with everyone for at least a week after I get a massage. Therapeutic massage is great for your health, and helps you perform better at work! It’s worth every penny. During the massage, try to keep your mind clear of distractions. At the end of the hour, your muscles will be relaxed and your mind will be recharged. When you’re a mom, there is nothing more precious than one hour to yourself in a silent room.

Find Time for Exercise

It’s really hard to fit in exercise when you’re a working mom, so you may have to get creative. Perhaps you get up early for a jog a few days a week. Maybe you can get a quick workout at lunchtime if you have access to a gym and shower near work. If you don’t want to take time away from your kids in the evening, schedule a babysitter to stay with the kids after they go to bed. This is a particularly great way to get a workout in because you won’t feel guilty about leaving your kids and since the babysitter is coming, you can’t skip out! Get some exercise a few times a week and I guarantee your mood will improve.

Take a Mental Health Day

Sometimes, you just need a day with no agenda. Take a full or half day of vacation from work, send the kids to school and take a day just for you. See a movie. Get a pedicure. Sleep. Just sit in silence in your house. Do what you need to do to replenish yourself mentally. Resist the urge to be productive and just be. Especially relevant to the introverts among us!

Sleep, Glorious Sleep

Sleep is a precious commodity that we parents never seem to get enough of. But if you’re chronically grumpy, you may need to take a hard look at your sleep schedule and habits. Is there a way for you to go to bed earlier or sleep in later? Can you trade off nighttime or early morning wakings with your spouse? Are you practicing good sleep hygiene before bedtime? If you’re having trouble nodding off, try this simple 15 minute bedtime routine to get your body and brain ready for bed. Sometimes, your body just needs more sleep and there is no shortcut.

Connect with your Spouse or a Friend

If you’re more of an extrovert, your batteries are recharged by connecting with people. Make time to meet a friend for coffee or lunch during the work week. Plan a date night with your spouse to do something you’ve never done before. Have your spouse watch the kids so you can go to a work dinner or happy hour occasionally. Socializing probably won’t happen multiple times a week, but try to fit it in at least once a month. Once you’ve made plans, ditch the guilt and enjoy yourself! Your kids and spouse will survive, I promise.

Declutter Your Space

A clean and calm space is essential to your mental well-being. Science actually shows that being in a cluttered space makes it difficult for people to focus. This leads to frustration, anger and anxiety. Hmmm….sound familiar? If the decluttering process seems overwhelming, start small. Make sure your desk, cubicle or office at work is tidy. Every Friday afternoon, clear your desk of clutter and wipe it down. It feels so good to walk into a clean office on Monday morning. When you’re read to tackle your home, Allie Casazza has some awesome courses to help you declutter room by room. I highly recommend!

Reframe your Thinking with Gratitude

The other day, I was carrying what felt like 30 lbs of stuff across the fields to my daughter’s soccer game. Chairs for the whole family, snacks, my purse, and some other assorted stuff. About halfway from the parking lot to the field, I dropped something. Grump. Then my younger daughter asked me to carry something of hers. Grump. We were almost to the field when I realized that I didn’t have to be negative. I tried to reframe my thinking. My beautiful daughter is strong and healthy enough to play soccer. Her smile lights up the field. She lopes toward the goal with a relaxed stride that is exactly like her dad’s. What is a little inconvenience in the face of this joy?

You Cannot Run on Empty

Next time you find yourself being extra short with your family, you’ll recognize the signs. You need some self-care to improve your mood, whether it’s alone time, a social outing or a nice, sweaty run. Don’t put it off, mama. The time won’t make itself. Find the time to take care of yourself so you can give your best to others.