How to Set Flexible Goals and Why it Matters
Recently, I listened to a podcast episode that was about goal setting. The podcaster gave an example of how to make a vague goal more specific. The vague goal was “Get in shape” and the specific goal was “Jog 2 miles every morning at 7 am.”
Now, this is one of my favorite podcasts and I always find it valuable. But this particular example set off a little red flag in the back of my mind. Funny enough, I was listening to the podcast while jogging 2 miles – at a very random time in the middle of the day.
See, I think many people who love planning try to get TOO specific. If you have kids, and a spouse, and a job, you might find yourself failing to meet your goals – not because you don’t have time but because you can’t do them as specifically as you planned.
Things happen in my house every day. Last week, the kids went back to school in person which meant a whole new morning routine. We were running around filling water bottles and finding masks at 7:30 am. Then our furnace went out multiple times. Could I have exercised at the same time every day? Absolutely not. But did I exercise every single day? Yes I did.
I believe that setting a goal like “Jog 2 miles every day in January” is like trying to plan your whole month out in advance. If you’re a parent, especially if all adults have a full time job, it’s absolutely impossible to plan your whole month. That’s why I save my planning for the day of. It’s SO much easier to make a plan when you know what your day will look like.
Here’s how you can make flexible goals
Make Frequent Planning Part of your Goal Setting Process
For my monthly or quarterly goals, I work in very broad strokes. I’m going to continue with the example of planning exercise but this works for almost anything! For a quarterly or monthly goal, I might set three targets:
- Map out workouts in weekly preview
- Each day, schedule workout on calendar
- Run twice, lift twice, mountain bike once per week (rough goal)
This is pretty specific. However, it doesn’t rely on a specific day or time to get these workouts accomplished. It acknowledges that I need flexibility in my schedule while at the same time keeping my commitment to exercise on my radar each and every week. For me, keeping the thread going while also allowing maximum flexibility is key to actually making these items happen.
Map out your week
When you fill out the weekly preview, it’s a great time to think about your week and what you hope to accomplish. If it’s a normal week, you can probably pencil in your goal workouts pretty easily. If the week is busier than usual, you might have to get creative.
During my weekly planning, I lay out the parameters of the week in my planner. For example, we climb on Monday and I don’t want to lift on a climbing day. So I’ll plan to lift Tuesday and Thursday. I’ll run on Monday during the day. Wednesday I have an all day training at work so I will run during my kid’s martial arts class. It’s winter, so I can’t ride during the week after work. I’ll pencil in a ride on the weekend. This is how I set a rough weekly workout plan.
Notice, by the way, that I aim for 5 days of exercise a week. I consider anything else icing on the cake. That means that if I miss running on Wednesday because I had to run an errand during martial arts class, I’ll just move that over to Friday. Done!
I think of the week as a puzzle and I slot my exercise (and other tasks/goals) in where I can.
Plan the day each morning
Each morning, it’s time to really figure out where I can exercise. Note how much time you will need to get to your workout location (if applicable), change into exercise clothes, exercise, and then change back into regular clothes. If you work from home, you might be able to streamline this process significantly. I am pretty lazy and usually just 1 or 2 (max) of my weekly workouts require a drive. For the most part, it’s step outside for a run with the dog or head down to the basement to lift. I find it much easier to fit in that way.
Keep in mind that if your day simply doesn’t have room for a workout, you might have to get creative. If exercise (or whatever goal you are trying to achieve) is truly important, you can and will find the time to do it. Maybe that means getting up early or multitasking. Maybe it means moving meetings around or re-prioritizing tasks. Don’t take “no” for an answer when it comes to fitting in activities that are truly important to you.
Take advantage of “lost” time
Sometimes you can make small progress toward your goal. Parents in particular cannot adopt an all or nothing approach. It’s completely possible to accomplish a goal by taking small, consistent steps. As an example, I have set a Q1 goal to write 500 words every weekday. This usually takes me 10-15 minutes. I have written my 500 words:
- After a meeting that ended early
- At my kids’ activities
- While lifting (between sets)
- While waiting for latecomers to join a call
It’s almost always possible to find a little time each day to work toward your dreams. I love a 40 mile bike ride but that’s not realistic most days. To exercise, I do things like:
- Get up early
- Exercise during kids’ activities
- Walk during meetings
- Lift and fold laundry
If you look, there are plenty of “found” pockets of time for you to work toward your goals. You just have to look!
Value consistent progress toward goals
I am SUPER inconsistent about some things (like housework). Laundry has always been a huge struggle for me. This month, I set a goal to do a whole load of laundry each day, from washing to folding to putting away. It really doesn’t take that long. I’d say it’s 20 minutes total end to end, and the time is dispersed throughout the day. It’s not a matter of having the time, it’s a matter of remembering to do it.
That’s why, for busy parents, I advocate setting the bar exceptionally low at first to encourage consistency. If your goal is too hard or takes too long you just won’t do it. Keep it SO simple and easy and short that you have no excuse not to do it! Once you’ve established a consistent habit, you can (but don’t have to!!) think about expanding your habit. But remember, when life gets stressful it’s always OK to fall back on that small but consistent step every single day.
Move tasks and meetings around as needed
Don’t be afraid to shuffle around meetings and activities to meet your goals. Sometimes I schedule all of my meetings into a small chunk of time so I can work on goals and deep work for the rest of the work day. If your schedule doesn’t work for you, try to change it! This isn’t a fixed thing that can’t make way for you and your dreams.
Goals should be flexible
Most people need flexibility in goals! Remember that you can’t always plan your days out far in advance, and that is 100% OK. Planning and goal setting should work for you and your life. Trying to be too rigid or aiming too high in goal setting could leave you stressed, and that’s not the idea. With consistency and creativity you’ll achieve your goals before you know it!
