Simplify the Holidays, Spend More Time with Your Family and Capture the Spirit of the Season

You could keep yourself busy 24/7 during the holiday season. Between endless shopping, parties, kids events, cookie baking and decorating the house, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. That’s especially true when you’re a working mom and have to actually try to work in December.

I’m here to tell you that you can have a very meaningful holiday without running yourself ragged (or going into debt). It takes some prioritization and some planning, and I’ll help you do that – step by step!

Simplify the holidays by accepting that you can’t do everything. Then prioritize and plan!

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Identify the Holiday Must-Dos

We all have holiday season activities that are non-negotiable. Sit down with your family and make a list. Definitely include your kids and partner in this activity, because their answers may surprise you. That big holiday party you attend every year? Maybe no one really wants to go. That random night of watching the Polar Express in your PJs while drinking hot chocolate? It could be the highlight of the season for your kids.

Make Your List (And Check it Twice)!

The point is – find those things that truly matter to your family. Our kids love going to a local tree stand to pick out a tree every year. My younger daughter’s school has a Christmas program that we go to. Gift-giving is on our list too.

Your important holiday activities might be totally different, and that’s great. Just make sure that this list includes only those things that really matter to your family. Check your assumptions!

Case in point – in my house growing up, Santa presents were wrapped in special paper. My husband’s Santa presents were always unwrapped to distinguish them from the other presents, and this busy working mama is all about that tradition. Now we wrap only presents from mom and dad. Win!

The Reason for the Season

It’s easy to get sucked into gifts and cookies without stopping to think about the meaning of the holidays, whatever that may be for you. If you are religious, make sure to prioritize going to Christmas Eve services, or doing the advent calendar every week.

Those who aren’t religious might focus on spending time with family and enjoying traditions. Perhaps you want to focus on giving back by giving gifts to a child in need or volunteering at a food bank.

Make sure to include one or two activities that support your “why” for the season, and include them on your non-negotiable list. Having meaning will anchor your holiday season and will ensure that you don’t feel unsatisfied amidst the bustle.

Bottom line: Make a short list of your non-negotiable holiday activities. Include your spouse and kids. Check your assumptions.

Make a Festive Plan

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (to use your calendar)

The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas can get a little crazy, so plan for it! First, put your non-negotiable events on your calendar. This would include something like a child’s Christmas program or a family party.

Make sure to rearrange your schedule to make the event possible. That might mean moving meetings at work, taking a half day of vacation, arranging travel, etc. Whatever it is – set up the logistics when you schedule the event so you’re not stressing.

Christmas, Don’t Be Late

Then choose a day and time for the events that can be done at any time. Otherwise you risk not doing them! Schedule an afternoon to volunteer at the food bank. Decide on the day you’ll go pick out the Christmas tree. Write down the time you’ll take the kids to see Santa. Whatever it is, go ahead and pencil it into your calendar. That way you won’t lose track of it, and you can always reschedule if you need to.

Try to spread events throughout the month as much as you can. If you can in any way avoid a Christmas program, holiday party, decorating the house and going to see Santa all in one week – do that! Stick to two activities a week to help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.

I’ll be Home for Christmas (a few half-days anyway)

One little hack I’ve found is that taking a random half-day off to take the kids to see Santa is a pretty great idea. The lines will be fairly short and it’s a fun little outing. Of course, this only works if your kids aren’t in school so we we only managed it for a year before my oldest started Kindergarten.

I also usually take a full day off when the kids are still in school to finish up last-minute shopping, wrapping and other chores. Last year, I managed to fit a pedicure into my Christmas prep vacation day, which was heaven! This really helps me feel more calm and leaves evenings and weekends for the important (and fun) stuff.

Bottom Line: Schedule your must-do events. Take a day or two off of work to finish shopping or do an activity on a non-peak time!

Be an Organized Santa

Gift-giving can become all-consuming if you let it. Here’s my mini-guide to what we try to do to streamline as much as possible.

Teachers

I typically give my kids’ main teachers an Amazon gift card with a picture of the relevant child on it, with a short note. You can add your own picture to an Amazon gift card, choose the amount and print it at your office. This never fails me and everyone likes Amazon, plus the picture makes me feel like it’s a bit more personalized.

For “specials” teachers (PE, music, etc), aftercare workers and daycare floaters I get a huge pack of $5 Starbucks gift cards and pass them out liberally. It’s easy and you have to keep the amount fairly small because this is a pretty big bucket of people.

Service Providers

I give my cleaning people a bonus of the amount of their cleaning fee every Christmas. For the UPS, FedEx and USPS workers, I try to give them $20 or so each because let’s face it – we keep those people busy all year long and especially around the holidays.

Co-Workers

I usually give a card to close mentors or friends at work who are senior to me. I usually give my team members (who report to me) gift cards that correspond to something they’re interested in – Starbucks, Whole Foods, Painting & Wine place, museum, etc.

It can be a bit of legwork but I usually pick only places that have printable gift cards so I don’t have to run around to different places. This year I’m thinking about giving them Rocketbooks! Usually I don’t do anything physical because most of my team is remote, but maybe I’ll make an exception this time.

Adult Family

We’ve really pared down gift-giving among adult family members over the years. Our motto for this group is M&Ms – Memberships and Meaningful gifts. We usually get something small for each of our parents and siblings, plus a photo calendar with pictures of the relevant grandkids. This endeavor has expanded over the years as the number of grandkids has grown, but that’s just fine. It’s something I can do at my desk and I love looking back over the year.

The first year, I made just one calendar with my own kids. Now that I have two nieces on my side of the family and two nephews on my husband’s side, I make two calendars – one for each side of the family. I also send a copy of the calendar to our grandparents and siblings.

Nieces & Nephews

We try to give and ask for memberships when at all possible! In the past, we’ve done children’s museums, play centers, the zoo and art museums. If it’s an expensive membership, sometimes we give or receive it as a joint gift. We love this present because we think about the giver every time we use the membership, and it makes activities much more affordable. Plus, we’re not adding yet another toy to the house – which is pretty awesome too!

Partners

My husband and I tend to get each other fairly big Christmas presents. These are the things that we’ve deemed too expensive and not important enough to buy during the year. Last year, my husband bought me a Chromebook (despite my insistence that I really didn’t need one) and that’s what I’m typing on right now! Parent Lightly wouldn’t have existed without that gift!

This is something that’s evolved over time, mostly because my husband loves buying gifts and is really good at putting a lot of thought into it. Spouses could also have fun giving each other coupons (fold laundry, massage, date night, etc) or going to an event together (splurge on concert or play tickets).

Kids

This is the biggie, where I probably spend 75% of my gift-buying time to be honest. In our house, we do:

• Presents from mom and dad
• Presents from Santa
• Small gifts in the stocking

I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that I need to track the kid gift-giving really closely. Otherwise, I end up completely overbuying as I try to balance the presents we have for each kid. That is not my goal!!

To make sure everything is even without overbuying, I use a simple worksheet to keep track of Mom & Dad, Santa and stocking presents for each kid. I write the gifts down as I buy, otherwise I run the risk of forgetting since there are a lot of moving parts!

If you think you might need a similar worksheet, I made a simple version just for you! Download and print out as many copies as you need!

Shipping

Make sure to buy presents in time to get them to their recipients. Office gifts have to be distributed no later than a week before Christmas since people will starting taking vacation the closer you get to the holiday. Gifts for friends and family may need to be shipped to their destinations. Of course, this is an incredibly busy time of year for shipping so keep that in mind!

When at all possible, have the store gift-wrap your gift and send it straight to its recipient rather than to you. If you’re sending something to a friend or family member, see if that person’s spouse can intercept your gift and wrap it for you if you can’t have the store wrap it. The less shipping you can do this year, the better!

If you’re sending holiday cards, did you know that you can order postage stamps online? I am literally placing an order right now. Do yourself a favor and buy some festive stamps for yourself right now. That way you won’t have to face the lines at the post office in December!

Bottom Line: Do what you can to shop online and ship efficiently! 

Make it Meaningful

Plan out your holiday season so you can be in the moment when it counts. You don’t want to be frantically buying last-minute gifts on Christmas Eve. Map the time out so you can relax and enjoy the time with your family.