9 creative ways to spend quality time with your kids
Recently, I was talking to a friend about how tough weekdays are on working parents. It sometimes feels like we spend the whole evening doing chores. Between commuting, picking up kids, getting groceries, making dinner and doing the bedtime routine, we’re left feeling a little empty.
When do we get to spend quality time with our kids? Is that for weekends only?
I encourage parents who work full time to rethink how they define quality time. Is quality time with your kids only playing catch in the backyard, baking cookies, or reading books together? I would argue that any time we spend with our kids can be quality time.
How much quality time do parents spend with their child?
A recent survey of 2,000 families with school-aged children found that families get, on average, just 37 minutes of quality time together per day. This seems very low and, indeed, supports the feeling we may have that we just don’t get to see our kids much during the week.
Of course, keep in mind that this is a survey so “quality time” is self-reported. Each family will define quality time differently, which muddies the waters.
In my house, I estimate that we spend about 2 hours of quality time together every day. It usually looks like this:
- At least a few times a week, one or both kids come with me on the am dog walk: 15 min/day on average
- We all eat breakfast together in the morning: 20 min/day
- We all walk to the bus stop together and hang out while waiting for the bus: 20 min/day
- We eat dinner together: 30 min/day
- I help them with the bedtime routine and then we all read books together: 60 min
- Total: 2 hours, 25 minutes a day
Would other people call this “quality time”? I’m not sure. But I think it is!
Benefits of spending time with your child
It’s important to spend quality time with our kids regularly. Studies have shown that kids whose parents spend dedicated time with them have fewer behavioral issues and better mental, emotional, and physical health.
But what is “quality time with kids” exactly? It’s any period during which you can give your kids your attention. I’m OK loosening the definition a bit and saying that it’s giving your kids your mental and emotional attention. Those times when the kids walk the dog with me? Quality. When they’re helping me make dinner? Quality.
Spending time with our kids creates space for them to talk with us about things that are on their mind. It helps them feel connected and supported.
Ways to spend quality time with your child
It’s so important to spend quality time with your kids, but you might be feeling a little desperate at this point. Where are you supposed to find the time in your busy week to connect with your kids regularly? I think it comes down to three concepts:
- Consider eliminating activities that aren’t adding value to your family.
- Recognize that quality time doesn’t have to be in big chunks. Just 10 minutes a day of dedicated time is so valuable.
- Think creatively about quality time. It doesn’t have to be something big and fancy.
To help you come up with some inspiration, here are 9 ideas for quality time with kids!
Go to the grocery store!
Why not? If your kid loves the grocery store and you get your food, this is absolutely quality time. For little kids, point at the fruits and vegetables. Talk about colors and tastes (salty, sweet, sour). Chat with older kids about their day while you’re shopping (it helps to have a list so you don’t forget something while you’re chatting away). Let them get a sticker (or a free cookie) at checkout.
Commutes
If you drive your kid to school or daycare, that can be quality time. Some of the best conversations happen on car rides, after all. With younger kids, you can chat with them, recite a story or sing a song. Let older kids drive the conversation or pick some music to listen to. Remember, quality time doesn’t have to be filled with conversation. It could be as simple as the two of you enjoying a song or an audiobook together.
Meals
Although many families can’t eat together due to work and activity schedules, I encourage you to try to find at least one meal a day to eat together as a family. When my husband worked in the evening, we made a point to have family breakfast every day. It doesn’t have to be fancy or slow. But the act of sitting down at the table together is meaningful.
Look for small chunks
Last week, I was sitting outside of our martial arts school with the dog. My youngest was in her class and my older daughter was keeping me company. We had a great time chatting, she practiced “heel” with the dog, and it was great. Found time became quality time!
Activities
If you enjoy certain physical activities, involve your kids. Even tiny kids can go on a walk or jog with you in a stroller. Take your kids on a hiking trail in a framed carrier or soft structured carrier. Little kids can ride in a seat on your bike, and older kids can start riding with you. We take our kids running, hiking, biking, rafting, and rock climbing.
Chores
I feel really warm and fuzzy when my kids are helping me with chores. Sometimes they’re loading the dishwasher while I wash pots and pans. They often help me fold clothes. Doing the household work together is a great way to spend time together, and you can almost always chat while you’re doing it too. One of my favorite childhood memories is going to the recycling center with my dad! Doing household chores together is a great way to spend quality time with kids at home.
Bedtime
Bedtime is often a race to get the kids in bed before the meltdown. But try to find a little time to connect. Maybe it’s reading a few books. It could be rubbing their back or talking for a few minutes after lights out. Maybe you lay down on the floor next to their bed for a minute or two. Whatever it is, you’ll feel better if you make sure to spend a little quality time with your child before the day is over.
Phone free time
Quality time will become more plentiful when you can put your phone down. How many opportunities do we miss to connect with our kids because we’re checking Instagram or playing Candy Crush? Commit to phone-free family time if you want to make the most of the time you do have at home.
Read and cuddle together
You don’t have to interact actively to spend quality time together. Sometimes it’s simple ideas for quality time with kids are the best ideas. It can be as easy as cuddling on the couch while you both read. Even a toddler could spend a few minutes looking through a picture book while you read an article or book chapter. Some kids are recharged by quiet down time with you.
You can find ways to spend quality time with your kid, even when you feel like you have no time
Even if you feel like you have no time, you really can spend quality time with your child. Think creatively and re-imagine what quality time means. You don’t have to be a Pinterest mom to spend quality time with a kid. All they really want is your attention. And you have the power to give that to them, even if it’s at the store or in a quiet 5 minutes or while you’re cooking dinner.
